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July 14, 2014
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Well it's been an exciting day.

Journal Entry: Mon Jul 14, 2014, 3:09 PM


I was awakened at just after 8 in the morning with the news that there was a meth lab in the apartment building. If you are not familiar with meth labs, count yourself lucky. They are toxic enough that they can kill you just by walking into the room. So the news that there was one in the building had cops and firefighters and swarms of other first responders all over the place, and we were waiting to find out if we were going to have to find another place to live for the next few days while a biohazard team sanitized the space. And I'm stuck in an apartment with my husband who can make a four-page melodrama out of "I'm out of cigarettes" in full rant about how we have to move and we can't afford to move and oh my fucking gods the universe is imploding!

Yeah it was cute ten years ago. Now I just wish I could belt him with a mallet to shut him up, but apparently there are laws.

So I deal with this situation in the time-honoured way of city-folk; I grab a cup of coffee, light my cigar and head to the front office to get all the gossip on the situation. Turns out that it was NOT a meth lab. Some genius dumped enough paint thinner on the floor of the storage room behind the office to freak out my upstairs neighbour. Since he has three tiny children I can see his point. So no meth lab, no emergency, no issue. We natter and cluck until the coffee is gone and the cigs are smoked, and I go back into the apartment where Mr. Composure is dragging out every suitcase we own.

"Are they coming to evacuate us?!"

"Everybody's gone home, it was just a false alarm. Some asshole spilled paint thinner."

"So what happened with the meth lab?!"

For sale - one husband. Will trade for three bisexual Goth boys who wish to be kept as sex slaves.

So that was my morning. This follows an evening where I heard from my sister - the one with the appendix fused to her colon that I gave my money to so my other sister could go visit her. The email she sent starts off quite nice, but then it drifts a little and her natural bigotry shines through like a lantern in the darkness. See if you can spot it.

From: "A. S." <*****7@gmail.com>
To: delaese@shaw.ca
Sent: Sunday, 13 July, 2014 8:08:37 PM
Subject: Hi Ally:

Thank you for helping Laura get out to see me. I needed family big time. And a big thank you for your book. Though you put stiches in my stiches when I read the part about Deirdre learning the hard way about biting the jugular. I was most hysterical. I can't wait to settle down for the night to read. You really have talent and your humor has always crippled me. I miss you and your humor the most. I wish you had of held out for a proper publisher though instead of the one that published your book. Your writing and you deserve better. Talk to me soon love AJ. PS. If you have another book ready I'd LOVE to have it. Kisses.</i>

Aaaaaand my response -

Just hope you're feeling better, and that you enjoy the book. And... uh... what exactly is wrong with my publisher? Is it the fact that she pays me better than I would get at a "proper" publisher, the fact that she runs her own business, the fact that she supports her family, or is it the charity work that pisses you off? She's a damned nice lady and frankly after busting my ass for years trying to find a "proper" publisher, I wouldn't fucking work any place else. I like Torquere. They appreciate me.

And I suspect you would not like my other book. It has fags in it. Because I write for a gay publishing house.

Get well soon. - Alyx</i>

Honestly, when all is said and done, there are days when it is just not worth chewing through the straps.



  • Mood: Tired
  • Listening to: the fan
  • Drinking: coffee
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmintflavoured:
MintFlavoured Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2014
Damn, what a hassle, but glad to hear it wasn't a meth lab.

Btw, your response to your sister's email was priceless.
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2014
Thanks. :D Wish I could show you the ensuing explosion.
Reply
:icononceuponatimetheysay:
OnceUponATimeTheySay Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Well, at least it wasn't a meth lab o.o  Hopefully it didn't take your husband too long to stop plucking his own tail feathers.

Ahhhh, gay-related drama!  I'm well acquainted with that.  It's always so much...uh...fun?  If nausea can ever be fun.
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014
She's having a fit because I called her on her bigotry. Apparently I am delusional. Uh huh.
Reply
:icononceuponatimetheysay:
OnceUponATimeTheySay Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Uh huh, sure.  You're definitely the delusional one in this situation.  I'm not being sarcastic in the /slightest/.  -.-  But she complimented your writing and called you funny, you're supposed to just let all that other stuff /go/, doncha know?
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014
Yeah that's what she said, only she was serious. People like her make me NUTS. She has everything she wants - why should she care about hate and violence towards other people?
Reply
:icononceuponatimetheysay:
OnceUponATimeTheySay Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, yeah, sure.  Totally.  As long as it's not affecting her, it could be happening off in Narnia or Middle Earth or something.

...I grew up in a very small town.  I ran into a lot of people like that, though thankfully I wasn't related to any of them.
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2014
Yeah same here. Gave me a severe case of empathy for other people. Also gave me an acute understanding of how very fluid reality is - it varies from person to person.
Reply
:iconsparklinburgndy:
SparklinBurgndy Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, good to hear it wasn't a meth lab but boo for having to put up with other people's drama.
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014
T%he day she stops causing drama is the day she dies. And trust me - it will be a dramatic death. BTW - Dumb question time - how does one convince a chicken to get off the rotten egg? Because seriously Poof will not let me have it. She puffs up like a furry balloon and snorts at me. Yes I did say snort. It may not be a "true" snort, but it certainly fits the bill. She's determined to hatch this thing and she needs to get the heck off it and go eat something. She's lost way too much weight and I'm starting to worry.
Reply
:iconsparklinburgndy:
SparklinBurgndy Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You have to take it away from her.  Put a piece of cloth or your hand if you're brave over her head, reach underneath her and steal it.  If she's still trying to brood, I hear a quick dunk in a bucket of water helps.
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2014
I actually thought about doing that; at the very least giving her a bath, she must be awful manky after sitting in this heat.
Reply
:iconbeckers:
Beckers Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2014
Glad the alarm was false, and on the upside of your sister (after you know... slapping her silly) she at least loved your book! XD
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2014
Yeah she did, I'm just not crazy about her attitude towards my gay publisher.
Reply
:iconbeckers:
Beckers Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2014
Understandable you'd be annoyed because YOU'RE BEING PUBLISHED!! So proud of you by the way for that!!!
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2014
Thank you, thank you, I'm proud of me for that too. But she clearly has no idea how hard it is to find a publisher. Like who exactly am I holding out for?
Reply
:iconbeckers:
Beckers Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2014
Clearly she doesn't, and you really seem to like your publisher which is a big fat bonus!
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2014
Well they like ME, and it's a huge ego boost to have your boss appreciate you, I don't care what your job is.
Reply
:iconbeckers:
Beckers Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2014
Excellent point!
Reply
:iconriverotter7:
riverotter7 Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Annnnd then there's your sister. I can't help you there outside of making her disappear somewhere near a large pig pen and we agreed that was not the approved way of doing it. How about the car/explosion/meth lab bit?Otter Stinkeye Syntter 
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2014
She's just a disturbed miserable hateful person. There's nothing else I can do to her.
Reply
:iconriverotter7:
riverotter7 Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
That's very unfortunate; I have an aunt who's the same way. Dad and I refer to her as the Wicked Witch of the North, she Who Shall Not Be Named and the Bitch Queen from Hell. How about we take the two of them, put them in a sack with several serpents and drop them in the ocean?

That was a little thing the Romans liked to do: 1# take prisoner 2# find several poisonous serpents and a regular sized Dog 3# Put everyone in the same sack (with weights) and 4# Drop in the Ocean. Nasty but the Romans weren't known for being Pansies in the torture departments.

Besides, you have all the rest of us who love you. It just hurts when someone who **should** love you, doesn't.  ::Huggles you:::cheer up hug: 5 seconds hug Siamese Cat Hug 
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014
It just infuriated me that she can't say "thank you" without tagging on some good old-fashioned homophobia and bigotry. She's flipping out because I called her on it. She will keep flipping because god forbid she admit a mistake, she might explode.
Reply
:iconriverotter7:
riverotter7 Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
She keeps that crap inside all bottled up and eventually she **will** explode. Just start calling her "the other child of my Mother" until people are finished asking you about it and it eventually gets back around. then she may post a fit. No use you getting upset...although we all do anyways. ::huggles you stillToo Much Hugging ::
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014
I'm not upset. I'm finding this all very informative. The way she's exploding like a cat in a shower tells me everything I'm saying is true.
Reply
:iconriverotter7:
riverotter7 Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Having rescued a cat from a tub of water and getting a long scar under my nose from it, that's an explosion. It's a shame Family has to act like this but they do. There's usually one in each Family and then there's **everyone** in the Family.....I just look at them and think "I'm younger and *I* have to be the adult here????"
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2014
She's hateful, violent, and completely without remorse. I'm sick of her and her shit.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconriverotter7:
riverotter7 Featured By Owner Edited Jul 15, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
That stuff can kill off your neighborhood in one toxic blast, depending which way the wind is blowing. What upsets me is the Oz PD is watching our west-side (dance flourish) neighbors for such an occurrence.

I am more than a little content that you are fine! Paint thinner stinks to high heaven and outside of being terribly flammable.....to paraphrase Geo. Carlin " Flammable, inflammable & nonflammable... Why are there three? Don't you think that two ought to serve the purpose? I mean either the thing flams or it doesn't!Something to know while heading towards a burning tanker!"

But at least you're not on fire, have chemical inhalation or have been de-housed. All those work for me :franticwave: I Love You Emote 
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2014
Me too. :)
Reply
:iconphoneix-faerie:
Phoneix-Faerie Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
so glad it wasn't a meth lab! and ugh, yeh, that email is awkward
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2014
Yeah we're currently arguing via email. She's found her calling in life at last; she's a net troll.
Reply
:iconphoneix-faerie:
Phoneix-Faerie Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
awww
Reply
:iconherradurra1:
herradurra1 Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2014  Professional Photographer
We had a meth lab explode in the trunk of a car once in our apartment complex.  It was in the other section of the parking lot.  I responded the same way you did.  Smoke, bourbon in coffee, go watch for the emergency folks.
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2014
Yeah Mr. Rat does not deal with emergencies well. Me - I've lived in a bus, cared for a schizophrenic, raised a baby on my own, and hopped chain link fences to steal animals in need that no one else seemed to want to help. It has to get a lot more exciting than "We might have found a meth lab" before I get ruffled.
Reply
:iconherradurra1:
herradurra1 Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2014  Professional Photographer
Yes, we've had apartment fires, gunshots, fights, etc.  I usually just grab some chips, make a drink, lay low, and watch.

I have become "that neighbor."
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2014
ROFL! Awesome. :D
Reply
:iconlady-avalon:
Lady-Avalon Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2014
"Had of"? *fingers twitch*

My day is shaping out to be like this :/ Can I run away to your place? I'm not goth or a boy, but I am bi :D
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2014
SOLD! To the beautiful lady with the fab accent - one melted rodent.
Reply
:iconriverotter7:
riverotter7 Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
HEY!!! I had her in the first place!!!!!Otter Bounce 
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2014
We can all share!
Reply
:iconriverotter7:
riverotter7 Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I keep forgetting how FABULOUS ALL of Us are ::tries not to squish the melted rodent::
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2014
Love 
Reply
:iconlady-avalon:
Lady-Avalon Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2014

YAY! *cuddles melted rodent carefully* You could always hang around my booth at work. The AC is set to about 10C. I have to wear a jacket while indoors.

Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2014
That's a bit too cool! I admit - I'm longing for fall. Huggle! 
Reply
:iconlady-avalon:
Lady-Avalon Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2014

I’m loving the heat (I spent years in Spain, 30C is normal in summer for me), but I never get to see much of it.

 

I do hate it at night though :(

Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2014
I get so sick in it. Never bothered me as a child but as an adult it just kills me.
Reply
:iconlady-avalon:
Lady-Avalon Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2014

It’s more the lack of sleep that kills me. I can put up with anything as long as I can get my Zzzs xD

Reply
:iconnyx613:
nyx613 Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Sometimes life just likes to sucker punch us, doesn't it? I'm glad there was no real meth lab though, that would have been, well, horrible. 
Reply
:iconmagicrat:
MagicRat Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2014
Yeah would have been scary.
Reply
:iconxiannah:
Xiannah Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2014
Sounds like a bummer of a day. My sympathy.
Reply
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