Author: The Magic Rat
Warnings: Silliness. Lots of it.
Word Count: 2223
Website – Ex Libris: www.winter-wood.net/ex-libris/…
Live Journal: delaese.livejournal.com/profil…
Disclaimer: All Final Fantasy Seven characters, places and situations are the property of Square Soft/Square Enix and are used without permission and without intent of plagiarism or profit. Copyright for all stories and original characters such as Badger the Roadie is with the author, and may not be published, copied, distributed or archived without the author's prior written consent.
Summary: Cloud and Yazoo have a conversation, while Loz and Vincent have a play-date.
Author’s notes: Done for KorNaXon’s Y/C Dinghy Contest. Lyrics to “The Logical Song” by Richard Davies, Roger Hodgson. Copyright: Almo Music Corp., Delicate Music.
It was an odd little friendship that Cloud had with Vincent, but an enjoyable one. They almost never actually laid eyes on each other, but both haunted the old Shinra Mansion in Nibelheim like ghosts when the weather became bad. Vincent hid in the basement, Cloud stayed on the main floor, both left each other alone. Often the only sign they had of one another were eerie little reminders left scattered through the dead house – a half-finished cup of coffee, some new provisions in a pantry untouched for decades, and, strangely enough, a piano repaired by chain-smoking elves. Cloud almost never saw Cid either; generally when Cid was in the mansion he had other things on his mind. Most of them involving getting Vincent naked.
It was late in the day, and Cloud found himself alone as the sun fought a losing battle with the encroaching storm clouds. The combination of light and dark turned the music room a strange golden colour. Evidence that Cid and Vincent had been in here was everywhere – two dirty wine glasses, empty bottle of wine, half-full ashtray, and…
Cloud picked something up from the floor and realized it was a pair of men’s underwear. The only man over the age of twelve with an ass small enough to fit them was Vincent.
“Terrific,” said Cloud. “Valentine panties.”
Carrying them by as little fabric as possible, he walked them out to the main room and displayed them prominently on the banister. He then returned to the music room to see if the piano was back in working order. He seated himself on the bench and tried one key. Perfect. Of course. Would Cid permit anything else? Cloud noticed something on the music rest; some canned fish no less. He picked it up and squinted at it, then groaned aloud as the joke came to him.
“It’s a piano tuna,” he moaned. “Highwind I hate you.”
He set the tin aside, and focused on the keys before him. Cloud wasn’t a natural musician, but he could certainly play. He tried a few simple tunes at first, just to see if he remembered them, then played with a few other melodies. To his delight he remembered an old Supertramp tune he had always liked and began playing it, checking to make certain he was alone before he began to sing. <center>When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful;
a miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical.
And all the birds in the trees, well they'd be singing so happily,
joyfully, playfully watching me.
But then they sent me away to teach me how to be sensible,
logical, responsible, practical.
And they showed me a world where I could be so dependable,
clinical, intellectual, cynical.
There are times when all the world's asleep,
the questions run too deep,
for such a simple man.
Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned?
I know it sounds absurd
but please tell me who I am…
He stopped playing, and the last word trailed off, the joy at discovering the old song deadened by the questions it asked. He knew his friends branded him as “emo”, and more than once he had overheard himself referred to as “the Little Rain-Cloud”, but… well it was hard to leave the past behind. There was so much darkness back there, lurking like a rabid black dog, just waiting to suck the life and joy out of everything. The truth was he really didn’t know who he was, and Tifa’s perky admonishing to be happy and be strong were not helpful. Frankly he’d like to see how well she functioned after five years in a tank being infused against her will with alien DNA.
A black-gloved hand reached over his shoulder like the proboscis of some strange creature, poking at a few of the keys. A slender body slid onto the bench, pleasantly close, and Cloud found himself gazing into a pair of green feline eyes.
“Don’t cry, Cloud,” said Yazoo, the smallest trace of a smirk on his beautiful china-doll face.
“How would you like a spanking?” Cloud asked.
Yazoo purred. “Oh, yes, please, I’ve been such a bad boy…”
Cloud kissed him softly. “You’re a brat. What are you doing here? If Cid and Vincent see you they’ll have a fit.”
“They’re not here to see me,” said Yazoo, plunking at the keys of the piano. “They’re at the hospital.”
“Hospital?” said Cloud. “What are they doing there?”
“Probably trying to think up a way to tell the doctor Cid broke his leg fucking Vincent in the shower without actually saying they were fucking in the shower. Safety hint – always know where your soap is after you drop it.”
“I’ll remember that,” said Cloud, kissing him again. “I have a question.”
“You and your two little buddies always call me Big Brother.”
“Well if I’m your brother, does that make our sordid little affair incest?”
“No. You’re adopted. And I’m Mother’s favourite.”
“Oh, very classy. Been taking lessons from Loz I see.” Yazoo reached up one hand to touch Cloud’s face, gazing into the mako-infused eyes. “Cloud there is no point in asking all the same questions over and over. I’ve asked them myself often enough, and there is no answer.”
“I do have one question that does need an answer. Namely what is going to happen if my friends and your brothers find out about this little relationship?”
Yazoo smiled. “Fuck them.”
“That could take hours.”
“Time well wasted if you ask me.” Yazoo nipped his nose. “Do you love me?”
“Yes,” said Cloud, easily and truthfully. “Even though I suspect it’s not a terribly good idea.”
“And it’s not as if we could run away,” said Yazoo.
“I think we’d stand out,” said Cloud, slipping his arms around Yazoo and drawing him close. He was about to kiss him when the horribly rusted hinges on the front door screamed like a dying woman as they were opened, then pulled closed. There was the sound of boots on the floor.
“YAZOO!” bellowed Loz.
“And there’s that whole psychic Jenova link-thing, too,” said Yazoo.
Cloud listened to Loz stomp around in the living room, then pause as he found something and proceeded to eat it.
“Do we want to know what he’s chewing?” asked Cloud.
“No,” said Yazoo. “The last time I looked, it was rotted wood with grubs. That was the time Kadaj and I made him brush his teeth then burned his toothbrush.”
The pair held each other, still seated on the piano bench, kissing as their hands strayed over leather and cloth. Loz did something or other loud in the next room.
“I always thought he and Vincent would be cute together,” said Yazoo.
“He can fight Cid for him,” said Cloud. “But… seriously, Yazoo, we are going to have to tell them. That or vanish together, and we’ve already established how well that would work.”
The hinges screamed again, there was a brief silence, then they screamed shut once more. It had to be Vincent; no one else walked that silently. There was a pause, then…
“PRETTY!” exclaimed Loz.
“Run away with me!” implored Loz. “You know you love me! I got the token you left out for me!”
“Token?” asked Vincent warily.
There was an utterly horrified silence, in which Cloud clearly envisioned Loz showing Vincent the undies he had found on the banister. Cloud slapped a hand over his face and shook his head as a riot broke out in the next room.
“Should we go rescue Vincent?” asked Yazoo.
“Loz will never catch him,” said Cloud.
“HAH! Caught you!”
“But then again…” said Cloud.
Yazoo just sighed, and kissed Cloud again. “Will you still love me if our friends and brothers turn on us?”
“I would still love you if it cost me every friend I had,” said Cloud. “But I think they would trust my judgment. They know I would never allow you to hurt them, or this planet.”
“Never saw the point in planet-destroying,” said Yazoo. “You just have to find a new place that serves sushi the way you like it.”
“Aw come on, Vincent, marry me!” said Loz. “We can do something about your hair later.”
Cloud and Yazoo heard a demonic growl that rattled the floorboards.
“I’m not going out there,” said Yazoo.
“Nope,” said Cloud.
“PUPPY!” Loz did something that resulted in the sound of Galian Beast’s claws being dragged across the floor.
“Who shall we tell first?” asked Yazoo.
“Tifa, I think,” said Cloud. “She’s my oldest friend.”
“How old is she?”
“She’s not that
Cloud kissed him, smiling. “You’re beautiful.”
“Of course I am. I’m a little afraid though. I mean…do we have to tell them right now?”
“No,” said Cloud. “I suppose not. But we will have to tell them. I want to be with you always, not just when you can get away.”
“Where would we live?” asked Yazoo. “Here?”
“No I think Cid wants to fix it up for Vincent. How about the abandoned church?”
“Oh with the ghost of your dead girlfriend hanging around? That’s not creepy in the least.”
“Aeris was not my girlfriend.”
“I still don’t want her showing up to haunt me. How about we build our own house, just outside Nibelheim?”
“Okay. I like that idea. Maybe halfway between here and the sea.”
“There’s a collapsed building,” said Yazoo, briefly nibbling Cloud’s lips. “It has all these marvelous old stones. We could use it to start our house. I love stone houses.”
“Me too. Maybe we can find someone to make us some stained glass windows. And there is some beautiful antique furniture in the old…”
“PUPPY PUPPY PUPPY PUPPY you’re so cute and FLUFFY!”
“…church. You realize if Loz does something that makes Vincent go hide in the coffin again Cid will be furious.”
“And that will be different from his normal state of being….how?”
“I’M GONNA RUB YOUR TUMMY! Wow, your teeth are HUGE. Hey! Watch the leather.”
Cloud could not help but think Vincent was being incredibly
tolerant, likely because Loz was not actively trying to hurt him. Still, it was not as if Vincent didn’t have an “enough” button. When Loz found it, the results would be pretty memorable.
“Hey you got paws! What happens when I tickle your toes? HEY! That hurt! OW! Quit chewing! OW! OW! OW! STOP DOING THA…. BAD DOGGIE!”
Cloud heard Loz wallop Vincent with a rolled-up newspaper. Vincent made a noise that caused the piano to vibrate and the fight was on in earnest. Cloud kissed Yazoo, reaching up one hand to touch the long white hair.
“So are you okay with the old furniture from the church?”
“I suppose so, if you like it. I’d like a well, and maybe some farm animals.”
Cloud nodded. “We’ll find a way to be happy. We’re owed that, at least. A chance to be happy.”
“Yeah,” said Yazoo.
They melted against one another, kissing, touching each other, blocking out everything around them, focusing only on each other. Too soon the kiss ended, and Yazoo drew back.
“I have to return to the crater, the storm is starting and I want to be home before it really blows up. I’ll talk to Loz and Kadaj tonight. Kadaj probably already knows. Not much escapes him.”
‘Except for noticing that Rufus Shinra had his mother’s head in a box on his lap under a blanket,
’ thought Cloud. “You call me if you need help. I’ll go to the old collapsed house in the morning and see what stones can be used.”
They drew together for one last lingering kiss, holding it for as long as they could, then reluctantly breaking it off to gaze into each other’s eyes.
The door slammed open, and there was Loz, dirty, disheveled… except for the hair of course, where did
that man get his hair care products…. and holding something furry.
“Hi Yazoo. Hi Cloud. Hey Cloud! Is this your doggie? Can I keep him?”
“Sure,” said Cloud, too distracted to think about what Loz had asked him.
“AWESOME! Thank you!”
Loz left. After a few moments, Yazoo followed after him, Cloud watching him depart. Once he was gone, Cloud seated himself at the piano, smiling, plunking the keys, his mind wrapped up in visions of his own house with Yazoo by his side to share it.
It was nearly twenty minutes before he sat back, remembered Loz’s question, and asked himself aloud; “What the hell did I just do?”