Author: The Magic Rat
Warnings: Bored people. And Pink. LOTS of pink.
Word Count: 932
Website – Ex Libris: www.winter-wood.net/ex-libris/…
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If you are new to the Rabid Tiger story arc, you can find the entire thing either on my website here:
Or the Rabid Tiger Gallery on Deviant Art here:
Just start at ‘Porcupine Love’ and go from there.
Disclaimer: All Final Fantasy Seven characters, places and situations are the property of Square Soft/Square Enix and are used without permission and without intent of plagiarism or profit. Metalocalypse, the members of Dethklok, and lyrics to Dethklok songs belong to Brendon Small, Cartoon Network and Turner Music. Copyright for all stories and original characters such as Badger the Roadie is with the author, and may not be published, copied, distributed or archived without the author's prior written consent.
Summary: All’s fair in love and war and practical jokes.
Author’s notes: Just taking a brief time-out from commissions to do something inspired by a card Animama sent me…
It was just one of those things that happened on the road – people got tired, bored, punchy, silly… Cloud had seen it plenty of times back when he was in SOLDIER. He’d seen cots filled with spaghetti and black grease on the binoculars and eggs in combat boots… it was just normal human beings letting off steam.
But the way Aeris, Tifa and Yuffie could not keep a straight face to save their lives told him that they had done something good….or really really bad
. Cloud watched as Cid Highwind approached the campfire, took a few of the eggs that were frying and placed them on a piece of toast on a small plate and began oh-so-casually walking them over to the tent where Vincent was sleeping. Yuffie began speaking quietly in a rough imitation of Cid’s voice.
“No I ain’t interested in Valentine, can’t a man take his fucking breakfast for a walk?!”
Aeris, Tifa and Yuffie sputtered and snickered and giggled. If Cid heard them, he didn’t give any indication.
“So who did you three victimize this time?” asked Cloud, still remembering the feel of moss and mud in his combat boot from their last joke. The trio of females gazed back at him, the picture of innocence. All they needed were wings and a halo.
“Us?” said Tifa. “Don’t be ridiculous, we would never do anything to anyone!”
“Uh huh,” said Cloud. “And Sephiroth was a natural red-head.”
The four turned to look at Vincent’s tent as they heard Cid speak.
“C’mon, Vincent, I brought you breakfast.”
Silence. Cid gave the tent a slight shake.
Cloud’s eyes became enormous as he realized the most recent victim of the Terrible Troll Sisters had to be Vincent.
“What did you do to that man?” asked Cloud wearily. “You don’t think he has enough issues with women?”
“Relax, we were just having some fun with him,” said Tifa.
“And we thought he could use a make-over,” said Aeris.
They tried and failed to look innocent. They began sputtering and snickering again. Cid gave the tent another little shake.
“Vin? Your eggs will get cold…”
The tent rustled, and out into the brilliant morning sunlight stepped Vincent Valentine. Tifa, Aeris and Yuffie must have been VERY busy last night. His black leathers had somehow been dyed a violent pink, and someone had polished his boots and gauntlet so that they positively gleamed in the light. His beloved tattered red cloak and headscarf had been hidden away and replaced with a scarf and cloak made out of vibrant fuzzy pink fabric, liberally festooned with sequins and cavorting baby lambs. His gun belt, shirt front, and the cuffs of his leather pants were ablaze with pink rhinestones. The morning breeze ruffled his black hair, revealing fine braids tied off with pink bows. Cid was unable to say a word as he stared, mouth hanging, at the pink apparition. Vincent calmly walked over to the three women, jingling softly from the little bells dangling from the edge of his cape. He blinked at them with red eyes that were so expressive, he could at times communicate without words.
“We’re innocent,” said Tifa, as Aeris nodded.
Totally,” said Yuffie.
Vincent blinked, looking from Tifa, to Aeris, to Yuffie. The red eyes indicated he had come to some sort of conclusion. Then he walked back over to Cid, accepting his breakfast, and giving him an appreciative little smile. The two stood together, flirting shyly, clumsily, paying no heed to the rest of the party as they finished breakfast, packed up, and doused the campfire. The last of the dishes were cleaned and put away, and Cloud sheathed his sword.
“Time to head out,” he said.
Tifa, Aeris and Yuffie stared at Vincent as he glittered and sparkled in the sunlight, little streams of light following after him as he moved, and the tiny silver bells on his cape tinkling quietly. He let Cid have a brief kiss, not their first and definitely not their last, sheathed his gun and went ahead to take point. The rest of the party followed after, as Tifa, Yuffie and Aeris stared in horror.
“There’s a town about a two hour walk from here,” said Yuffie.
“Uh-huh,” said Aeris.
“He hasn’t changed,” said Yuffie.
“Nope,” said Tifa.
There was a moment of silence from the three as each was struck with the same thought.
“He’s gonna make us be seen in public with him, isn’t he?” said Yuffie.
“Oh yeah,” said Aeris. “That’s exactly what he’s going to do.”
The three watched him walk, his bells tinkling and his fluffy pink cape blowing, Cait Sith scampering after it.
“I think I hate that man,” said Yuffie.